Sex & Love Addiction Counseling

Marie Wilson, PhD, LPC, LPCC, CSAT-S

What is Sexual Addiction?

Typically the word addiction has historically been used to describe problems with alcohol or drugs, however now it used to describe other compulsive and habitual behaviors such as gambling, overeating and sex when these behaviors become problematic. 

The term sexual addiction first appeared in the late 1980’s with the publication of Out of the Shadows, a landmark text, written by Dr. Patrick Carnes, a leader and pioneer in the recovery field. Compulsive sexual behaviors have serious consequences including depression, shame, despair, anxiety, intense loneliness, legal problems and loss of family, income, self-respect and self-esteem. 

Most individuals with addictive sexual behaviors need professional help.  Efforts at self care are usually not successful because by definition sexual addiction tends to be beyond the individual’s control. Without intervention, the cravings intensify and  the compulsive behaviors progress with increasingly more time and money spent in pursuit of the addiction. 

​Sexually addictive behaviors can include habitual or frequent use of:
•    Internet Pornography
•    Other forms of pornography such as videos or magazines
•    Compulsive masturbation
•    Serial affairs
•    One night stands or anonymous encounters
•    Prostitutes, massage parlors
•    Adult book stores

How Do I Know if I am Sexually Addicted?

​Sexually addictive behavior is not based on a single incident or experience. Like all addictive behavior, sex addiction evolves, matures and progresses over time. 

Questions to ask yourself should include:
•    do I feel ashamed about my behavior?
•    is it secretive?
•    have I tried and failed to stop these behaviors?
•    do I find myself preoccupied or thinking about doing these behaviors more and more?
•    have I ever engaged in behaviors that might be illegal?

​If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you might need professional help. You can take the Sex Addiction Screening Test (SAST) for further information. Intervention begins with an accurate assessment conducted professionally, with respect for confidentiality. 

Am I the Partner of a Sex Addict?

Sexually addicted behaviors become problematic for partners and other family members, seriously impacting marriages, committed relationships and many other aspects of family life. Partners of sex addicts frequently feel inadequate and struggle with deep shame and self-loathing as a result of their partner’s addiction and  need their own recovery plan in order to begin healing from the destructive patterns of this disorder. Family involvement in recovery is strongly encouraged.  You can take the Partner Sexual Survey for further information. 

Questions you may have...